26. Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

27. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

28. If you’re dating a man who you think is Mr. Right. and if he

      a) got older,

      b) got a new job, or

      c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise.

The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on caterpillars and butterflies.

 29. Men own basketball teams. Every cheerleaders’ outfits get tighter and players’ shorts get baggier and longer.

30. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

31.  When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

32. When  four or more women get together, they talk about men.

33. Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

34. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

35. Most women are introspective: “Am I in love? Am i emotionally and creatively fulfilled?” Most men are outstropective: “Did my team win? How’s my car?”

36. If a man says “I’ll call you,” and if he doesn’t, he didnt forget, he didnt lose your number, he didnt die, he just didnt want to call you.

37. Men hate to lose. If a woman beats he husband at tenis, she might ask him “Are we ever going to be in love again?” He might say, “Yes, but not with each other”

38. Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.

39. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. “Get out” and “I never want to see you again” might sound like a challenge. If you really want to get rid of a man, say “I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have your children.” Sometimes they leave skid marks.

40. Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: “Mitch you look great.” Mitch: “Thanks.” On the other side: “Ruth, you look great.” Ruth: “I do? Must be the lighting”

41. Impulse buyin is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.

42. Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.

43. Only men who have worn a ski suit understands how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she’s wearing a jumpsuit.

44. Men dont feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women’s dresses usually button and zip in the back. Women need men emotionally and intimately, but they also need men to help them get dressed.

45. Men are self confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

46. When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When  man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the  clothing has shrunk.

47. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause – you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

48. Men forget everything: Women remember everything. That’s why men need instant replays in sports. They’ve already forgotten what happened.

49. Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

50. All men would still really like to own a train set.